The NO has arrived...

I am devastated, angry, incredibly sad.  Emir is not coming home.  He's been a part of my life/our lives for so long.  I have loved him for so long, I have dreamt of his homecoming for so long.  I'm so thankful for the time we had with him in May (and pray it won't be the last!).  Our second agency is closing it's doors (in great part due to UNICEF-such a Godless organization), and with that, our chance to finish our adoption if Kyrgyzstan were to say yes.  Emir is such a part of me and will always remain a part of me.  Now I have to figure out how to be his mom from a half world away.  Oh I wish he could understand, I wish I could understand.
Romans 8:^{28 "}And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose."  I am so thankful God showed us he would spend eternity with us just a few weeks ago.  Oh how he would have loved Sam.  Now I just need to be thankful that we have wonderful people in Kyrgyzstan who will keep an eye on him.
A mourning process that cannot be understood except by those who have experienced it.  For the good of those who love Him.  He does, we do and now we just trust and believe.